I'm not resistant to change; I just don't fancy it.

240th post



Had a sudden urge to blog. A different kind. But I don't really know what to write. Or rather, I don't know how to put them into words accurately.

*struggles for a min*

Okay to start it off, quite some changes have been taking place. Well, to / for me at least. It feels like.. things are put on the replay mode. Which is bad.

Another thing is I realise I really don't like to do certain things and I seriously dislike being forced to do them.

I don't think I'm just refusing like a kid with a stubborn jaw; I. really. don't. like. it.
I don't know if you can imagine the intensity, but I'm sure He does.

And I believe we're given different roles cause we're wired differently for different purposes. I'm not saying we shouldn't try other stuff, I'm just more concerned about effectiveness esp when a life is at stake.



A few days ago, I posted this as my FB status:

The only way to really know how others can get hurt by you is when you get hurt in the very same manner.

Think He wants me to know that as I do certain things thinking cause it's just me, it actually hurt some people - probably not just once even.

All these struck me when I experienced how hurtful it can be, twice.
Felt so inferior, esp when it's someone who's.. pretty amazing?
I can't find a suitable adjective.

This resulted in some kinda phobia as well; doubt it can be understood though.





Randomization™: My love language of touch is catching up more and more I feel, don't know it's a good thing or not haha.