Reliance. So foreign.

284th post Everything is getting tough. New problems, new issues, new challenges. This is the first time in a long while that I feel such a strong need to surrender and rely on God for guidance. I wanna be filled with the Holy Spirit and lead with it. I wanna know how to love too. Please God. I don't wanna be afraid. I wanna be faith-filled and faithful. God all these are do foreign. Such emotions are so hard to analyse and comprehend. These stuff are never things I asked for. But I need them now, so if you're willing, please grant me these desires O Lord. I don't wanna lead with human strength and towards me. Lord please, I wanna first be convinced and convicted inside out before the start of this new journey which feels a lot like facing a lot of my weaknesses. Whatever it is, I'm gonna cast all my anxiety on You. I know You are real. Always remind me that You command my destiny. Thank You Father, amen.